Family Matters, Part 4: Castle Builders
⌥ Type: Sunday Morning Service
🎬 Series: Family Matters
⛪ Sermon: Part 4 - Castle Builders
🗣️ Speaker: Pastor Tom Van Kempen
📜 Description: God calls us to build our homes and churches as places of safety, strength, and refuge — fortresses where his presence is easy to find and his peace is available even in the most difficult storms of life. A strong family and a strong church are not only protected by God's love, but filled with joy, laughter, and intentional celebration that creates memories lasting for generations. The legacy we build through faith, family traditions, and the stories we pass down shapes not only our children but the generations that will come after them.
ℹ️ Tip: The video is set to start at the beginning of the sermon, but you can scrub the playhead to any part of the service. ℹ️
Additional Info
The info below was generated by an AI from the audio recording of the sermon.
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Use the questions listed below as a launching point to discuss the sermon points together as a family. These are great for dinner table discussions and small groups.
Estimated time: 45 minutes
Opening (5 minutes)
Welcome the group and open with a brief prayer. Ask everyone to share one word that describes the feeling they want their home or church to have.
Scriptures for This Week
Proverbs 14:1
Proverbs 14:26
Psalm 46:1–2
Psalm 144:2
1 Corinthians 13:7
Proverbs 4:23
Proverbs 17:22
Ecclesiastes 9:9
Proverbs 5:18
Read Together
Read Psalm 46:1–2 aloud as a group. Then read 1 Corinthians 13:7.
Discussion Questions (25–30 minutes)
1. Psalm 46:1 says God is a "very present help in trouble" — meaning he is easy to find. Would someone who visited your home or church say that God is easy to find there? What does that look like practically?
2. The message described love as a roof — the thing that makes the structure of a home livable and warm. Where in your own home or relationships does that "roof" feel strong? Where might it need some repair?
3. Proverbs 4:23 says to guard your heart above all else. As adults in your children's lives (or in the lives of young people in your community), what does it look like to guard their hearts on their behalf? What is one thing you can do more intentionally?
4. Ecclesiastes 9:9 and Proverbs 5:18 both say to find and enjoy joy with your spouse. If you are married, when was the last time you were genuinely playful or celebratory with your spouse? What got in the way? For those who are single, how does joy and celebration show up in your closest relationships?
5. What is one family tradition from your upbringing that shaped you — for better or for worse? What tradition do you want to pass on, or start, going forward?
6. The message ended with the idea of legacy — stories passed from one generation to the next. What story from your family's history with God do you want the next generation to know? If you do not have one yet, what story do you want to start writing?
Action Step (5 minutes)
This week, do one intentional act of joy or celebration for someone in your home or family. It does not have to be elaborate — a handwritten note, a planned date, a phone call with a story from the past. Come back next week ready to share what you did and how it was received.
Closing Prayer (5 minutes)
Ask if anyone has a specific need around family, marriage, or legacy. Pray over those needs together, and close by thanking God for being a refuge and a fortress — easy to find, always present.
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Historical Context: Psalm 46 and Proverbs 14
Psalm 46
Psalm 46 is one of the great "Songs of Zion" in the Hebrew psalter, likely written during the era of the divided kingdom in ancient Israel, possibly in response to a military threat or national crisis. The city of Jerusalem was built on a hill, and the temple at its center was understood to be the literal dwelling place of God. For ancient Israelites, the image of God as a "fortress" and "refuge" was not merely poetry — it was deeply physical. When enemy armies surrounded a city, survival meant getting inside the walls. The word translated "very present help" in the original Hebrew carries the sense of being abundantly available, well-proven, and thoroughly accessible. It communicated that unlike the gods of surrounding nations — distant, unpredictable, requiring elaborate rituals — the God of Israel was near. The closing word, Selah, appears throughout the Psalms and is thought to be a musical or liturgical instruction, possibly indicating a pause, a rest, or a moment of reflection between movements. In the context of worship, it was an invitation to stop and let the weight of the words sink in.
Proverbs 14:1 and Proverbs 14:26
The book of Proverbs was compiled largely during the reign of Solomon in ancient Israel, around the 10th century before Christ, though portions were added and edited over subsequent centuries. The wisdom tradition it represents was deeply countercultural in the ancient Near East, where wisdom was often considered the exclusive property of kings and priests. Proverbs democratized wisdom — it was addressed to ordinary people, young men learning to navigate life, and households trying to flourish. The figure of "the wise woman" in Proverbs 14:1 is striking precisely because wisdom literature in the ancient world rarely elevated women as moral agents and builders. Here, a woman's choices — not just a king's decrees — are presented as the hinge on which an entire household turns. The concept of "fearing the Lord" as the path to a secure fortress in verse 26 is rooted in the Hebrew idea of reverence and trust rather than terror. It describes a posture of deep respect that shapes every decision. In the ancient world, a fortified city with strong walls meant the difference between life and death. To say that the fear of the Lord provides that kind of security was to make an enormous promise to everyday families.
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God Is Our Fortress
Ages 4–10 | 45 Minutes | Volunteer-Friendly
Introduction (5 minutes)
Gather kids together and ask: "Has anyone ever built a fort at home — maybe with blankets and pillows? What did it feel like inside your fort?" Let a few kids share. Then say: "Today we are going to learn that God is like an amazing, safe fortress — and he wants our homes and families to feel safe too. Let's find out what that means!"
Scripture
Psalm 46:1 — "God is our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble."
Say it together two times. Then ask: "What is a refuge? It's a safe place to run to! And guess what — God is always that safe place for us."
Lesson (7 minutes)
Tell the kids: "A long, long time ago, people built big castles with thick walls and deep water around them called moats. If something scary came along, people ran inside and were safe. God says HE is like that castle for us. He protects us when we are scared, when we are sick, when things feel hard. And he wants our homes and our church to feel like that safe place too — a place where everyone who comes in can feel loved, feel safe, and find out about Jesus."
Ask: "What makes YOUR home feel like a safe, happy place?" Let a few kids answer.
Craft: Build a Blanket Fort (10 minutes)
Supplies needed: small paper bags or cardstock, crayons or markers, tape, popsicle sticks (optional). Have each child decorate a "fortress" by drawing a castle on their paper bag or cardstock. Encourage them to write or draw something that makes their home safe and happy inside their castle — a cross, their family, their church. If time allows, use a few chairs and a blanket to quickly build a little fort in the room and let kids gather inside while you finish the lesson.
Game: Fortress Tag (8 minutes)
Pick one corner of the room as the "Fortress" (safe zone). Choose one child to be the tagger. When the tagger is coming, kids can run to the Fortress corner and be completely safe. But they can only stay 5 seconds before they have to move again. After a few rounds, pause and say: "Wasn't it great to have a safe place to run to? That's what God is for us — all the time, not just in a game!"
Discussion Questions (5 minutes)
Sit back together and ask these questions:
1. What is something that makes you feel scared or worried sometimes?
2. What can you do when you feel scared? (Talk to God, talk to a grown-up, remember this verse!)
3. How can you help your home feel like a happy, safe place for your family?
4. Who is someone you know who needs to hear that God loves them and is a safe place for them?
Wrap-Up and Prayer (5 minutes)
Say: "God wants your home, your family, and your church to be a safe and joyful place. And the best news is — HE is always there. You never have to be alone. Let's talk to him right now."
Have kids bow their heads or put their hands on their hearts and pray together:
"Dear God, thank you for being our fortress and our safe place. Help us to feel close to you when things get hard. Help our homes to be full of love and joy. Help us to make the people around us feel safe and loved too. We love you, God. Amen."
Send kids home with their castle craft as a reminder that God is their fortress.
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Good morning.
Ooh, it's a good response today.
Good to have everybody in the house of the Lord.
I'm a little wore out after that last song, just so you know.
Uh I I gotta get my breath here and uh before I finish this sermon, but uh uh I heard about a world-renowned dietitian who was giving a keynote speech at a health conference.
She was laying it on thick.
She talked about how red meat is a silent killer.
How our vegetables are swimming in pesticides, how sodas are eroding our stomach lines and even our water is is bad for us.
It's polluted with all kinds of chemicals Finally, she leaned into the microphone and she said, but there's one specific food that causes more pain, grief, grief and sorrow than any other.
Does anybody know what it is?
And a man stood up in the back and said, wedding cake Well, I don't believe that at all, by the way.
I've had forty-one years of of great marriage.
And I think what we've been talking about for the last four weeks is that that God wants the family to matter.
Who can say amen?
And despite the attack that is being waged against us from the enemy of our souls From vain philosophies that were talked about in our Wednesday night service this past Wednesday night, we can still be victorious in Jesus' name.
Amen.
We can be victorious.
So Proverbs chapter 14, verse 1 begins with a simple verse, the wise woman, and by extension, this includes the man too.
The wise woman, the wise man, builds her house.
But with their own hands the foolish woman tears hers down.
One of the themes over the last four weeks has been that that God has given all of us a choice.
And it's a it's a very simple choice.
It's his way or your way.
It's his way or the world's way.
It's his way or the wrong way.
Because any direction opposed to God is always the wrong way.
In the scripture, it's called foolishness.
And when you follow his path, it's called wisdom.
A few verses later in verse 26, this is what it says.
Whoever fears the Lord.
We talked about this in week one, that God's got to be the foundation of all of our homes.
Whoever fears the Lord has a secure Fortress, say fortress.
This is really what I want to focus on today.
It goes on and says, and for their children it will be a refuge.
If you've ever read the Psalms on a consistent basis and maybe the Proverbs also, you will see this terminology that is found again and again and again.
It's refuge.
It's fortress.
Uh the idea is that that that God has this castle that he wants to help build with you.
He provides the blueprints so that you and your spouse, you and your church family Can build a castle that is filled with security and serenity And with that said, I want to give you just an image of three different castles today.
The first one is right here.
It's a European castle.
And when you look at this, this is probably the typical castle most people think about.
It's surrounded by a moat.
There might be a species in that water that make it very difficult for people to swim to the castle.
There's only one way in.
Therefore, there's only one way out.
There's a drawbridge.
And so the idea here is protection.
The idea is Is safety.
The idea is that all of the attacks of the enemy you can run from and run into this castle and you will be safe.
That's what God's trying to create for us in our homes.
That's what God is trying to create for us in our churches.
So in order to build this castle, the one that I'm talking about, it requires a partnership between you and God.
So another verse that contains this idea is Psalm chapter 46, verse 1, and this is what it says there.
God is our refuge and our strength.
And here's the phrase I want you to think about.
A very present help in trouble.
A very present help in trouble.
In the original language, that terminology, very present, simply means this.
That God is easy to find.
And what I want you to really understand today is that if you Lay claim to Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
If you and your spouse cherish him and want him in your life, then then your home, your family should be an easy place to find God.
So if young boys and girls are born into your family, if if people who from the outside come into our church who who don't know Jesus Christ, Our church in your home should be an easy place for them to find the person of Jesus Christ.
It should be a place where they can build up their strength.
Because with a mom and a dad and a son or a daughter, there should be some strength in those numbers.
When we have the few hundred people that we have in church.
Today, whether you were down or whether you were up, when you walked in the door today, you should have felt the strength and the numbers that are here today in Jesus' name.
Amen.
That's that's important.
This should be a place where love is found.
So we've been talking about this foundation.
We've been talking about, you know, the the Bible's the blueprints.
But but when I think about it, sometimes the the the terminology I'm using, even using the terminology of castle, that might sound cold.
How many have actually been to Europe and you've walked through a castle?
Anybody So a number of you have.
And so i if you're like me, I've walked through castles and they're a little bit damp.
They're a little bit cold, especially if you're in Ireland or Great Britain somewhere and it's raining and cold out And it doesn't feel like you know I'm in front of a fireplace all snuggly with my family.
It feels cold and damp.
And that's why we have to put the rock the proper roof on top of all of this.
And that's the roof of love.
And we've talked about this on numerous occasions in the past, but listen to what 1 Corinthians 13, 7 says, love always, say always, love always protects.
Love is is like a cord that binds things together.
Love is the glue that sticks.
Anybody watch American Idol?
Still after all these years, huh?
Yeah?
And you know, now they've got Lionel Ritchie on there.
Do you guys remember his song, Stuck on You?
Stuck On You I've got this feeling down deep in my soul that I just can't lose.
See, I haven't been able to sing for two months because of allergies.
I'm getting tired of it.
I want to be able to sing!
Guess I'm on my way.
I needed a friend And the way I feel now, I guess I'll be with you till the end.
Guess I'm on my way.
Man, I have I can't even get up there right now, but but next week I got something special for everybody.
Because next week is Mother's Day and I will hit that high note no matter what.
I guarantee it The word here protect in the Greek language has the meaning of a roof.
God is the foundation.
But love is the roof that makes this thing all happen.
We've got to truly love our kids, love one another.
And when the foundation is right and the roof is right and the walls are right, we're able to protect the innocence of our children.
You understand your child's innocence is under attack, right?
I've never seen anything like what I've seen over the last Two decades?
I've never seen the assault on five-year-olds before.
How in in the the public schools they're they're they're trying to to cause so much confusion and I'm not saying all public schools hear me.
I'm just saying that there is an agenda out there in the world that is anti-Bible and anti-God, and we can't allow it in Jesus' name.
We've got to stop that stuff from happening.
Proverbs 4. 23 says this: guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
So how does a five-year-old guard their heart?
And the reason I ask is because they don't even know what their heart is.
They think the Bible's referring to this thing that's pumping blood inside.
They don't know what a heart is.
They don't know how to guard it.
So it's our responsibility as moms and dads, as adults, as teachers and coaches, it's our responsibility to guard their hearts for them.
And in order to do that, we have to understand that we are the gatekeepers of their lives.
We're the guards.
We're the ones who have to say no.
We have to establish boundaries.
We have to let them understand that everything in the media is not safe for consumption.
Who can say amen?
We've got to manage what they're reading, what they're listening to, what they're looking at.
We have to know their friends We have to intimately know their friends.
I'm just letting you know.
We need to know their friends' families, their friends' brothers and sisters.
We need to know who they're hanging out with.
We need to create or put them in proper learning environments in Jesus' name.
And only when we do those things will we create and prepare them, you know, to face this world.
In faith.
In Psalm chapter 46, it goes on verse 2.
Therefore we will not fear I don't know about you, but uh I I faced some struggles in my life.
I've had some ups and downs.
Uh I remember going to the doctor one time and the doctor saying, oh, you got cancer Like it was no big deal.
And I was like, who me?
Nobody thinks they're ever gonna get cancer.
It's always the other person And yet there it was, the C-word.
Well what I have to do?
Well, you have to have surgery, you have to have radiation, you have to do this, you have to do that, and and and all of a sudden you don't even hear him any longer It's like Charlie Brown, wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah because how in the world did this happen to me?
That's what this verse is saying.
Therefore we will not fear, even though the earth has been removed.
We will not fear, even though the mountains will be carried into the midst of the sea, though its waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with its swelling, we will not Be afraid.
Who can say amen?
It's not going to take place.
You know why?
Because we've built a castle for our families.
We've built a a castle for the people in our church.
And when they show up, even when they're in dire straits, There is safety and there's protection to take care of them in Jesus' name.
There's peace even in the midst of a storm.
Who can say amen?
I remember I announced to uh the church that I had cancer before and everyone comes up to me and says, Are are you scared?
No.
How come?
Well, you know, the Bible says God's my my fortress.
The Bible says God actually cares about me.
Well what if you die?
Well God God's even in control of that.
Amen.
I mean, death is not the end for us Christians.
There's nothing for us to be afraid of.
Because we'll either be healed here or healed there.
It's a win-win for every Christian.
Now, it might not be a win for the spouse who's left behind.
There might be some difficulties, but that's why the spouse is going to be a part of a church family.
Who can say amen?
And then the church steps in and starts walking with people.
Psalm 144 verse 2.
Just another one of these scriptures that reinforces the same thing.
God is my loving ally and my fortress.
My tower of safety, my rescuer.
He's my shield and I will take refuge in him.
I love this because that that a high tower phrase, it literally means a retreat.
Anybody ever go to a spa retreat?
Did you like it?
There's some cool things.
How about a marriage retreat?
Church retreat.
Prayer retreat.
I've been to a couple of prayer retreats.
They were awesome.
And you know what they all have in common?
Is you're supposed to feel better once you go out.
In other words, your home is like a retreat castle.
It's a place to draw away from the world and simultaneously be refreshed.
Be rehabilitated.
Be strengthened in the mighty name of Jesus Christ.
There's too many families that everyone's fighting with each other rather than with the enemy.
Your home is supposed to be your castle, not just for the man, for everybody.
That's what the home is supposed to be about.
That's what the church is all about.
If you look at that verse.
In Psalm 46, it ends with a simple word Selah.
And Selah is one of those beautiful, magical, and musical words in the scripture.
It's almost found primarily in the book of Psalms, although there's a couple of instances in a few of the other books of the Old Testament, but it simply means to pause.
It simply means to rest.
And it is as important as everything else in that particular day.
You might be out in the world fighting the devil and fighting the enemy and making money and doing business and and going to school and all of those other things.
But when you get home there is a time to rest There's a time to rehabilitate.
There's time to spend with God and to spend with others that can literally change your life.
Image number one was that castle in Europe with a moat around it.
It's a castle of protection.
But image number two is a bounce house of smiles and laughter.
Look at this thing right here.
That's a castle, right?
So while I was preparing to wrap up this this sermon and this whole series on on family matters, I I thought of the big strong castle in Europe.
But then I started thinking about this one, and I started realizing that there are a lot of families that might have safety under control, but they never crack a smile the entire week long.
We gotta have some fun in our families.
We need to be able to laugh once in a while.
Proverbs 17 says, a happy heart is Good medicine, and some of our homes need a dose of that medicine even today.
I learned a long time ago that joy isn't an accident.
Joy is something that is tended in our hearts and in our homes.
It's a fruit of the Spirit, but it's also an intentional practice that we can choose.
We can choose to be joyful.
Ecclesiastes chapter 9, verse 9 says this, enjoy life with your wife whom you love.
Did you know it just says that in the book of Ecclesiastes?
Ecclesiastes is not a very happy book.
And in the middle of all of the difficulty, it says, enjoy life with your wife Enjoy life with your husband.
Marriage is supposed to be about having a good time once in a while.
Marriage is about not forgetting why you married that person to begin with.
Proverbs chapter 5 verse 18, be happy with your wife and find your joy with the girl you married.
In other words, sometimes you have to find the joy.
You have to discover it.
You have to make it.
You have to create it.
You have to be intentional about it.
So that means maybe we should start dating again.
You say, Pastor, we've been married for 50 years.
Why don't you ask your wife out on a date this weekend?
And the reason I say that is because when we were dating, oh We did so many romantic things.
We went out to eat.
We bought cards and roses and we we bought candy and and we soured them with gifts.
And now that we've been married for a little bit, now what do we do?
We we burp and we have gas and we share our BO No wonder the romance has left.
Take a shower and say, you know what, we're going out to eat this weekend.
And have a little secret card ready when you get there.
Announcing I love you I care about you.
I think you're special.
I read a study in a German medical magazine uh just in the last couple of weeks that claimed men who kiss their wives every morning live five years longer.
Robin, get up here.
Oh, it it gets better, it gets better They also make twenty percent more money.
It's not an accident, guys I'm telling you, just cherishing the one that you married for the rest of your life can make a monumental difference in life.
So we need to celebrate life more often.
We need to be grateful.
Gratitude comes from the Latin word for grace or gift.
And so grateful people see every single day as a gift.
And when you do that, then everything gets more joyful simultaneously.
We need to have this joy that we're talking about.
I remember when our first child was born, whoa, there was joy in the house.
Do you guys remember that?
Celebrating new birth?
Baby number two, baby number three.
It never got old.
I'm just telling you, there was as much joy with the fourth birth as the first birth.
How about in the church?
Every time we see water baptism, what do we do?
We clap our hands.
We celebrate because birth deserves to be celebrated.
It deserves to be honored because it brings joy.
I remember when when all my kids turned 16, I did something really special for them.
I know I think all birthdays should be celebrated.
But every now and then there should be a birthday that's that's even elevated above the others.
And so for my kids' 16th birthday, it was a dad and child day or weekend I would take them to another city.
We'd go to a professional sporting event.
I took my daughter on a on a shopping uh week uh you know she got uh uh an ankle golden ankle What are they called?
Anklets, I guess?
Not bracelets, but anklets.
Uh she got new outfits.
She got a new watch.
All kinds of things because because I prepared for something special on their 16th birthday.
If I had to do it over again I'd have two special ones, not just one.
I'd probably do one somewhere around ten to twelve and then one from sixteen to eighteen.
Two different highlighting changes or transformations in their life.
For Robin.
You gotta be a little sneakier with your spouse.
And the reason I say that is because everyone expects something special on the 30th, on the 40th, on the 50th.
So I decided to use something special on her 37th.
Who does something special on the 37th?
And and so watch this, watch this.
She's teaching fourth grade that year And uh I write her a beautiful poem, all right?
And and and the kids walk on in there and right in the middle of class it's being interrupted, and this poem is read.
And the poem says that there's going to be a lot more gifts to come, that this was number one.
And the reason why it it all had to flow so beautifully was every gift was associated with a number.
The first gift was one card.
The second gift was a pair of socks.
The sixth gift was a six-pack of Diet Coke.
The 14th gift was 14 karat gold.
The 19th gift was a card that said, I'm taking you to Monterey Bay to go on the 19-mile drive.
And it just kept growing and growing.
So every gift there was an equivalent to the number that it was.
By the end of the day, I think she thought she was the most special human being in the entire world.
Because in my eyes she was, and you still are.
Listen.
So she's got her 62nd birth.
I'm s Her her her tw her twenty-second birthday coming up.
She's got a birthday coming up that is not one of the biggies.
But we're doing something big anyway just for the fun of it.
We need to have to have more joy wrapped around our holidays And I'm not just talking about at home.
This is where the church comes in handy.
We're going to do something really special next week for Mother's Day. gonna have a a number of pillars up here because there is a verse in the Bible that says that that prays that your daughters will be like Pillars in a palace.
And so we're gonna have a sermon based upon pillars, and we're gonna have them up here on the stage.
It's gonna be special On the fourth of July, we're gonna have our family fourth.
And literally we're gonna have a three-point shooting contest, and the winner is gonna get $250.
Why?
250th anniversary.
It's the 250th anniversary, that's right.
We're gonna do all kinds of cool things, but we're gonna celebrate together as a family who can say amen.
So why why?
Because we're trying to we're trying to create memories.
That's why you celebrate graduations and promotions and and victories.
That's why We're trying to build literally a museum of memories that are going to sustain our children and our newly saved people throughout the rest of their lives.
So think about this.
Some of those castles in Europe, they're now museums, right?
So so look look at this right here.
Here's our third castle.
You guys probably recognize this one, I'm sure.
We're less than an hour away from that particular castle.
You know what's really funny is I grew up assemblies of God.
I know a lot of you didn't grow up assemblies of God, but this is an assemblies of God church.
I grew up, we had church every Sunday night, and the devil would tempt me. with visions of this castle every night at about six o'clock because the wonderful world of Disney came on.
And my parents would grab me and say, Oh, you're not watching that.
We're going to church tonight.
But that's not the point I'm making.
The point is that castle has created millions of memories for children and families over the last 50 or 60 or 70 years.
There's something magical about that castle for many families.
And you can do the exact same thing in your homes.
You can do the exact same things in your churches.
You can create Cinderella castle experiences at home.
How do you do this?
Number one, by spending lots of time with your family.
Family is where you should be spending the majority of your time.
Now there's no shortcuts to great memories.
You can't schedule great memories.
When Robin and I were first getting married, she was always trying to create the perfect moment.
Whether it was a birthday, Christmas, vacation, she wanted everything to be a Norman Rockwell moment.
But over time we decided and discovered that a lot of things were just purely accidental.
A lot of things can happen spontaneously.
I said it in the first story.
There was a man who had been at work just from morning till till night.
He wasn't even tucking the kids in at bed.
This had been going on for a couple of months.
And finally he's sitting around the table one night and his kids are there and treating him like a stranger when he says, hey, hey, we're gonna have some real quality time this weekend.
I'm gonna be home this weekend.
We're gonna do some camping this weekend.
And and the kids were We weren't really that impressed.
And finally he said, Don't you guys want to go camping?
And they said, Well, yeah, yeah, we want to go camping.
And he said, Do you understand the difference between quality time and quantity time?
And they said, Well, explain it to us, Dad.
And he said, well, quality time is when I'm looking you in the eye and we're going camping or we're going to a theme park or we're doing something fun together.
And quantity time is just hanging out.
What do you think of that?
And one of the kids said, Dad, I want quality time and a lot of it He wanted both.
You see, kids really don't distinguish between quality and quantity If mom or dad are in the house, it's all quality to them.
It's all important to them.
So we've got to spend lots of time together because love is spelt T-I-M-E.
Number two, we need to establish family traditions.
I'm not the biggest traditionalist in the world But I understand the value of tradition.
The dictionary defines it as memories, customs, habits, and information handed down from one generation to the next The right traditions can actually give your family an identity.
Early on, before Robin and I ever went into the full-time ministry, we were always in church.
That was one of our traditions.
Our kids grew up knowing that Sunday, church was the place to be.
Who can say amen?
Early on, we established a no video, no media month in our family.
We'd go the entire month of June, no video games, no television, no radio, nothing.
It was just, it was just all that was gone.
And as we got older, we went to two months.
It was June and July.
And the reason is is we discovered we had more fun doing things together than everyone going to their own rooms and playing on their own individual device.
We had the general council tradition as the assembly of God pastors.
We always as a family went to general council, but but you need to understand Traditions need to be negotiated.
When Robin and I first got married, it was November.
So that meant Christmas was right around the corner.
And uh in my family growing up, we always had fake Christmas trees.
Why?
Men don't want to spend for a Christmas tree every Christmas.
You buy one, it lasts for 50 years, you never have to buy one again.
Robin's family just the opposite.
They always bought live Christmas trees.
And it was a part of their ministry.
They would go to Young Life or YWAM and they would invest in a tree.
Half the money would go into to missions or whatever.
And then they would get the scent and the smell of the tree for three or four weeks, whatever it was.
And so when when it was time to buy the Christmas tree, I'm going to buy a fake.
She's going, you're not going to get a fake, you're going to get a real.
And I'm thinking, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life.
So obviously I went and bought a reel.
But listen, it only lasted for six years.
On year number six, we're sitting in our little apartment in Eugene, Oregon.
Someone had brought a live Christmas tree to her house.
She was super excited, but that evening There was something odd happening as we're watching television.
I noticed the tree was moving There was a vibration.
I knew we had moved from California, so it wasn't an earthquake.
Upon closer inspection, I found hundreds if not thousands of spiders.
They had hats.
And I started looking around.
They were in the in the drapes, they were in the carpet, they were on the couch with us.
I still scratching it to this day.
But Robin never wanted to have a Christmas live tree again.
And we've had fake ever since So some traditions have to change, some have to evolve.
I'm just letting you know as our kids got older, we celebrated Christmas differently.
That's normal, that's natural, but we still celebrated Christmas.
Who can say amen?
Take lots of pictures.
I did not do a good job of this.
My family was not a picture-taking family growing up.
Robin's was.
I'm so glad I can look back at Robin's hairstyles.
It is some of the the greatest times just seeing all of the different hairstyles she's had.
And finally, this is the last thing if the worship team will come on up.
Tell the family story I think it's important for your kids to know how you met, where you met, whether that's a a positive redemption story, or whether you met at a bar and you're now telling your kids, I don't recommend that for you.
Because the story, the origin story is important for your kids to understand.
They need to know how you met, why you met, what you found attractive.
We need to tell the stories of them.
My daughter, Randall, she's going to be here next weekend for the women's event.
Randall was born Lock Breach.
If you're not familiar with that, it's rear-end first.
So her feet were up here, and she dislocated both of her little hips.
The doctor said she may never be able to walk normal for the rest of her life.
So her story to her children is she got a full ride college athletics scholarship because she was so fast.
Think of the grace of God.
She could have been physically damaged in some way because of a birth defect, but instead She ends up running so fast that she gets a full-right college scholarship.
It's part of the Van Kempen story.
Yes.
I have a son.
His name is Trevor.
He's 32 years old now.
And uh one morning Robin and I woke up and he wasn't in his crib at two years of age.
He wasn't there We're looking all over the house.
We opened a door where we normally keep the the dust devil and there he is hugging the dirt devil It's the story we tell.
We tell his kids.
You know what your dad did?
He loved a vacuum cleaner, you know?
It's part of the memories. that we've created over time.
They're beautiful, beautiful stories.
Here's my last one.
This is probably 25 years ago.
Robin's mom and dad decided to fly and go to France.
Their last name is spelt G-O-R-E-E.
And in France, it's gore.
In Texas, where he grew up, it's gory.
Okay.
And uh so uh they went back to France.
They wanted to do a little search on their family heritage.
And uh so they did some research, they went to a certain cemetery, and they took this picture of a tombstone.
And it was Robin's great great great great great great great great great great grandfather from the 1780s.
And it said this.
Killed for preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Did you hear that?
That's legacy.
There has always been a full time preacher And Robin's family for over two hundred and fifty years.
When we would tell those stories to our children and our grandchildren, how do you think that makes them feel It makes them feel like God's important.
It makes them understand we better not break this chain.
It makes them feel responsible to the family name.
Now you might say, oh, that's undue pressure.
No, we just tell the stories.
We don't say you have to be a pastor.
I have two kids who went into ministry and two who didn't.
The ones who went into ministry are not more special than the other two.
They're the same.
Ministry is found everywhere.
It's found in this pulpit.
It's found in those chairs.
It's found greeting at the door.
It's found down here on the 466 when you're helping someone fix a flat tire.
Ministry is all around us.
Who can say amen?
So here's the key to the whole thing.
What are you building?
What are you building in your personal life What are you building in your home?
What are you helping to build here at the church?
Would you stand with me, please?
Prayer partners, if you'd come on forward.
Heavenly Father, we come to you right now in the name of Jesus, the name that is above every other name And Lord, I'm so grateful for marrying the woman you brought into my life.
I'm so grateful for the heritage that she traces back.
So many decades, so many centuries.
But Father God, that is a gift that you would make available to anybody.
Anyone in this house right now can start that exact same legacy.
Anybody in this house right now can start can can create the same type of family that if Jesus were to tarry 250 years from now, they could be telling a special, unique story.
So I pray, Father God, that we don't compare to other people, that we just hear the story.
And realize that you are no respecter of persons.
And what you've done for one, you will do for all.
So I pray for a special legacy that that comes forward from Oxford Assembly of God Church.
Father God, we've been a church for 94 years.
And I believe that the best years are yet to come.
I believe the greatest revival is in our future.
I believe, Father God, that we are going to be able to impact this world in such a substantial way that Stories are going to be told about Oxford Assembly of God Church.
I pray this today.
I believe this today in Jesus' holy and precious name.
And together everybody says, Amen. prayer for anything the prayer partners are here for you.
Blog Post
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There is a kind of home that people do not just live in — they are restored by it. Ancient writers described it as a fortress, a refuge, a high tower. The image is not cold or militaristic. It is deeply personal: a place where strength is found, where love is the roof over everything, and where even in the middle of life's hardest moments, there is peace. Psalm 46:1 puts it plainly — God is a very present help in trouble, meaning he is easy to find. The home shaped by faith should reflect exactly that. It should be a place where anyone who walks through the door — whether a struggling child or a hurting guest — can easily find the presence of God.
Love Is the Roof That Holds Everything Together
Proverbs 14:1 reminds us that the wise person builds their house while the foolish person tears it down with their own hands. The difference often comes down to the presence or absence of love — not as a feeling alone, but as a committed, protective force. First Corinthians 13:7 says that love always protects. In the original Greek, the word for protect carries the meaning of a roof. God may be the foundation of a strong home, but love is what makes the whole structure livable. Without it, even the most disciplined, religiously organized household can feel cold and damp — like walking through an old European castle without a fire burning inside. Love is the warmth that transforms structure into sanctuary.
Protecting the Innocence of Children in a Noisy World
Proverbs 4:23 calls us to guard our hearts above all else, because the heart determines the course of a life. But a young child cannot guard their own heart — they do not yet understand what that even means. That responsibility falls to the adults in their lives. Parents, teachers, coaches, and church communities are the gatekeepers. That means knowing a child's friends, being aware of what they are watching and listening to, and actively creating environments where their innocence can be protected rather than prematurely stripped away. Loving a child well means saying no when the world says yes — and doing so without apology.
Joy Is Not an Accident — It Has to Be Chosen
Proverbs 17:22 says a happy heart is good medicine. That is not just a nice sentiment — it is a prescription for the home. Joy does not just happen. It is tended, cultivated, and chosen. Ecclesiastes 9:9 offers the surprisingly practical advice to enjoy life with the person you married. Proverbs 5:18 echoes it: find your joy with the one you chose. That means dating your spouse again. It means celebrating birthdays in ways that make people feel genuinely special. It means not waiting for the milestone anniversaries to do something memorable. Joy in a home is the direct result of intentional acts of love, and it can be created at any season of a marriage or family.
The Power of Family Traditions and Shared Memory
Traditions give a family its identity. They are the customs and habits passed from one generation to the next — and the right ones can anchor a child to something larger than themselves. Establishing rhythms around faith, celebration, and togetherness creates a museum of memories that children carry with them for the rest of their lives. Something as simple as a no-media month, a special birthday trip, or a holiday tradition carries more weight than it might seem in the moment. Over time, those experiences become the stories that define who a family is and what they believe.
Tell Your Family's Story — Legacy Is Built on Narrative
Children need to know where they came from. The origin story of a family — how parents met, what they overcame, what God did in their lives — gives the next generation a framework for their own faith and identity. It does not create pressure; it creates perspective. When a child hears that a great-great-ancestor was killed for preaching the gospel, something stirs inside them. When they learn that a sibling who was born with dislocated hips went on to earn a full athletic scholarship, they begin to understand how God works. Those stories, told around tables and passed to grandchildren, are the substance of legacy. Anyone can start building that kind of story today — regardless of where they have been.
