The Fellowship of the Mystery
Type: Sunday Morning Service
Sermon: The Fellowship of the Mystery
🗣️ Speaker: Pastor Tom Van Kempen
Loneliness is rising in our culture because people were designed by God for deep, authentic community — not shallow social media connections or polite small talk. True biblical fellowship, known as koinonia, is a sacred mystery rooted in the communal nature of God Himself — Father, Son, and Holy Spirit — and is meant to be reflected in how we share, sharpen, care for, and pray with one another. Small groups are not an optional church program but a divine and essential way of life that brings healing, growth, and transformation when people are willing to show up, be known, and do life together.
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Additional Info
The info below was generated by an AI from the audio recording of the sermon.
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Use the questions listed below as a launching point to discuss the sermon points together as a family. These are great for dinner table discussions and small groups.
Estimated Time: 45 minutes
OPENING (5 minutes)
Start with this icebreaker question — keep it light: Think of a time you felt truly known by another person. What made that moment stand out?
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS (30 minutes)
On a scale of 1–10, how connected do you feel to other people right now — not followers or contacts, but people who truly know you? What's one reason you landed where you did?
Genesis 2:18 says "It is not good for man to be alone" — and this was said before sin entered the world. What does it mean to you that loneliness isn't just a result of a broken world, but a signal of how God designed us?
The word koinonia means deep, life-sharing fellowship. How would you describe the difference between the koinonia described in Acts 2 and the kind of "fellowship" most of us actually experience day to day?
Genesis 1:26 says God created us in His image — an image that is communal (Father, Son, Holy Spirit). How does knowing you were designed to reflect a relational God change the way you think about your own need for community?
Proverbs 27:17 says "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Have you ever experienced a friendship that was uncomfortable but made you better? What did that look like?
James 5:16 says to "pray for one another that you may be healed." Do you find it easy or hard to share real struggles with a small group of people? What would make it easier?
What is one "one another" command from the New Testament that you feel most challenged by right now? (Examples: encourage one another, be hospitable to one another, build one another up, spur one another on to love and good deeds.)
KEY SCRIPTURES
Genesis 1:26 — "Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image, according to our likeness.'"
Genesis 2:18 — "It is not good for man to be alone."
Ephesians 3:8–9 — "...that I should make all see what is the fellowship of the mystery..."
Acts 2:44 — "All the believers were united and shared everything."
Proverbs 27:17 — "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."
Hebrews 10:24 — "Spur one another on to love and good works."
James 5:16 — "Pray for one another that you may be healed." John 6:3 — "And Jesus went up on the mountain, and there he sat with his disciples."
Luke 15 — The parable of the shepherd leaving the 99 to find the one.
CLOSING (10 minutes)
Read this together: "If you confess a deep struggle to 200 people, that's a press conference. If you confess it to four people who love you, that's a turning point in your life."
Discuss briefly: What would it look like for this group to become that kind of safe, transforming space for each other?
ACTION STEP
This week, take one concrete step toward deeper community: sign up for a small group, invite someone from church into your home for a meal, or reach out to someone you know is isolated. Don't wait for community to come to you — initiate it.
Close in prayer, asking God to lead each person to the exact relationships and groups He has for them.
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Main Passages: Genesis 1:26 & 2:18 | Acts 2:42–47 | Ephesians 3:8–9
Genesis 1:26 and 2:18 — Creation and Community
The opening chapters of Genesis were written within the ancient Near Eastern world, where creation accounts were common. What set the Hebrew account apart was its radical claim: that human beings were made in the image of God — the imago Dei. In surrounding cultures, only kings or pharaohs were considered to bear the divine image. The Genesis account democratized this completely, declaring that every human being carries God's likeness.
The phrase "Let us make man" in Genesis 1:26 has been interpreted in multiple ways throughout history — as a reference to the divine council, as a literary plural of majesty, or, as Christian theology has understood it, as an early window into the triune nature of God. What is clear is that even at creation, God speaks in terms of "us" — suggesting that community and relationship are woven into the very fabric of who God is.
Genesis 2:18 — "It is not good for man to be alone" — arrives before the fall of humanity, making it a statement about design, not damage. In the ancient world, survival itself depended on community. People lived in clans, tribes, and households. The idea of an isolated individual was not only unusual — it was dangerous. The Hebrew concept of shalom, often translated as "peace," carried the meaning of wholeness, completeness, and the flourishing that comes when all relationships are rightly ordered. Isolation was the opposite of shalom.
Acts 2:42–47 — The Birth of the Church Community
Acts 2 records the day of Pentecost — a Jewish harvest festival in Jerusalem that drew Jewish pilgrims from across the Roman world. When the Holy Spirit fell and Peter preached, approximately 3,000 people responded in a single day. What followed was not simply a religious movement — it was a social revolution.
The early believers in Jerusalem were largely Jewish, many of them pilgrims who had traveled from other regions. Some may have extended their stay in Jerusalem because of what they had just experienced. This created an immediate, practical need: people needed to be fed, housed, and cared for. The communal sharing described in Acts 2:44–45 was not an abstract ideal — it was a real and urgent response to real human need.
The phrase "from house to house" reflects the social reality of the first century. Large church buildings did not exist. The early church met primarily in private homes — Roman-style houses that could hold anywhere from 10 to 50 people. The home was the basic unit of church life for the first several centuries of Christianity. Koinonia — the Greek word used in Acts 2:42 — carried rich meaning in the Greco-Roman world. It described a business partnership, a shared inheritance, or an intimate bond between people who held something in common. For the early church, what they held in common was the risen Christ — and that shared reality transformed how they saw and treated one another.
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Better Together: God Made Us for Friends
Best for Ages: 5–12 (adjust as needed)
Total Time: 45 minutes
INTRODUCTION (5 minutes)
Greet the kids enthusiastically and ask:
"Has anyone ever felt lonely before? Maybe at lunch, or at recess, or even at home?"
Let a few kids share. Then say:
"Did you know that even way back at the very beginning — when God made the whole world — He said something really important? He said: 'It is not good to be alone.' God didn't just make us to exist by ourselves. He made us to have friends, family, and people who love us. Today we're going to find out why — and why that's actually a really big deal."
SCRIPTURE (5 minutes)
Read together: Genesis 2:18 — "It is not good for man to be alone."
Genesis 1:26 — "Then God said, 'Let us make man in our image.'"
Acts 2:44 — "All the believers were united and shared everything."
Ask the kids: "Who was God talking to when He said 'Let us'? He was talking to Jesus and the Holy Spirit! God lives in a friendship — Father, Son, and Holy Spirit — and He made us to live in friendship too."
CRAFT (10 minutes)
"Stick Together" Chain of Friends
Supplies needed: strips of colored construction paper, markers, tape or a stapler
Instructions: Each child writes their name on one strip of paper and decorates it. Then they write one thing they can do for a friend (example: "I can listen," "I can pray," "I can share my snack"). Link everyone's strips together into one big chain.
Say: "This is what the church looks like — everyone connected. When one person is missing, the chain has a gap. You matter to this group!"
GAME (10 minutes)
"You Need the Whole Team" Relay
Divide kids into teams of 4–5. Give each team a simple multi-step task that requires every team member to do one part — for example: Person 1: carries a ball to a cone, Person 2: does 5 jumping jacks, Person 3: spells a word out loud, Person 4: carries the ball back
The catch: if one person sits out, the team can't finish.
After the game, ask: "What happened when someone was missing? Could you finish without them? That's how God designed His family — the church. Everyone is needed."
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS (7 minutes)
Why do you think God said "It is not good to be alone"?
What's one way your friends help you be better?
What's something you could do this week to be a good friend to someone?
The early church in the Bible shared everything with each other. What's something you could share with a friend or someone who needs help?
WRAP-UP PRAYER (3 minutes)
Have the kids sit in a circle. Ask if anyone has a prayer request — something they need, or someone they want to pray for.
Then pray together:
"Dear God, thank You for making us to be together. Thank You for friends, for family, and for our church. Help us to be good friends — to share, to listen, to encourage, and to be there for each other. Help us to see the people around us who might be lonely, and give us the courage to include them. We love You, and we're glad we don't have to do life alone. In Jesus' name, amen."
TAKE-HOME REMINDER
Give each child a strip of paper with this written on it:
"God made me for community. I am better together. — Genesis 2:18"
Encourage them to put it somewhere they'll see it during the week.
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Good morning.
Now how many of you be honest have seen a reel on Facebook where a dog actually sounds like it's saying something?
You guys have seen those?
So I you might not have figured it out yet, but we're trying to get you to sign up for home groups today.
Or is it connect groups?
What do we call them?
Fed groups.
What does Fed stand for?
Fellowship, evangelism, discipleship.
One person knows, and he used to pastor this church.
Fellowship, evangelism, and discipleship.
And we're going to actually talk about some of that here today.
So I was tickled by that because I have been doing church for a long time, and I've been pastoring for 35 years, and uh we have struggled with how to name this particular ministry.
I think I've done the entire gambit.
I think we've done home groups, cell groups.
It was cell groups back in the 1980s.
Does anybody remember this?
And you might have remembered where it came from.
It came from Pastor Yagi Cho in Korea.
Who remembers this?
He grew a church from uh you know a few dozen to over one million people.
And his strategy was cell groups.
And so uh nobody ever told us that American culture and Korean culture were completely different.
And so you might not be able to do the exact same things here as you did there, but you know that never stopped the church from copying another church.
Who can say amen?
One of the things that uh amazed me from the first time that I I got the revelation.
And that is in Genesis chapter 2 verse 18 where it says, it is not good for man to be alone.
And uh you've probably heard sermons on this uh a million different times.
Maybe you've gone to a marriage conference or a retreat and you you've heard that you know it's talking about how how God made man and how how man is supposed to be in relationship and and all of that is true.
But I think the thing that that really got me going was that this verse happens before sin entered the world.
And because of sin, there's a lot of bad things that happen.
Just this week I've been reading and in various sources that loneliness is on the rise once again.
I I didn't think it could get any worse because Because people are not participating in civic groups or social groups like they used to.
We already know that families are not eating dinner on a regular basis, so even the Family is not in fellowship that the way we they used to.
I I read yesterday that uh people forty-five and older, how many of you are forty-five or older?
Yeah, a lot of you.
Almost half of you are lonely.
Think of that.
Now you might say, well, we're not lonely.
We live in the villages.
We have all kinds of things to do.
But you can be in the middle of church surrounded by hundreds of people and you can be lonely.
As a matter of fact, one of the tests of how well you're doing relationships is if you compare how many Facebook or Instagram or TikTok TikTok followers and friends you have.
And if you have 5,000 friends and you're stranded somewhere at 2 o'clock in the morning, are you gonna call one of them?
Because if the answer's no, you're not doing fellowship right.
If the answer is I I don't want to inconvenience them or I don't bother them.
You do not understand koinania, biblically speaking.
If you actually know what a high school classmate ate for lunch yesterday, and you haven't seen him in 20 years, And he was feeling blessed.
Yeah, we all know what that is, right?
But you don't know maybe half the people within three feet of you right now.
We're doing something wrong.
We live in the most connected generation in history, technologically speaking.
We have group texts.
How many love getting group tasks?
Yeah.
Please please be careful with the group texts.
Social media.
We have we have people streaming right now.
They're watching us live.
There are going to be people watching us five years from now, they're going to pull this thing up.
We have Zoom meetings, we have all kinds of stuff, but very little koinania, say koinania.
I bet you know what the word means.
What does the word mean?
Fellowship, yeah.
We've heard these sermons before.
Koinany is the Greek word for fellowship.
Unfortunately.
Our concept of fellowship is wrong.
Unfortunately, what we think is fellowship, having a cup of coffee and a donut in the lobby Is not what God is talking about in the Bible.
In Ephesians chapter 3, verses 8 and 9.
This is a a fascinating portion of scripture and I'm just reading part of it for you, but belisten, this is what it says to me.
This is Paul speaking.
To me, this grace was given or this gift was given that I should make all see, say all.
Paul is saying he wants everyone to see what is the fellowship of the mystery Have you ever thought about that before?
What is the fellowship of the mystery?
It's almost implying that there's way more involved here than what we're thinking.
It's not shallow interaction.
It's not even polite conversation.
It's something deep.
It's something intimate.
It's something tangible.
It's nothing less than sharing your entire life with another group of human beings.
And so when I'm talking about small groups today, When I'm talking about connect groups, Fed groups, whatever we want to call them, we're not talking about a church program We're talking about participating in a sacred mystery created by God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.
Small groups are a sacred mystery.
Listen, a mystery in the Bible is not a who-done it where we're looking for a killer.
A mystery is a sacred secret that God is finally letting everyone in on.
And the secret is this, you are supposed to live life a lot differently than you are right now.
Life's not meant to be lived in isolation.
Life is not meant to be lived you against the world, or you and your spouse against the world, or you and your family against the world.
God created koinania, fellowship, it existed before creation It existed before people.
It was God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, the original small group.
Think about it.
I'm not talking about the Beatles from the 60s.
I'm not talking about some boy band from the 90s.
I'm talking about the model for which you and I are supposed to pattern and mirror our life is after God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.
God Himself. even to this day exists in eternal community.
It's not something you and I invented It's something that God always existed as a divine reality.
We were created in the image of a relational God.
So so when you're longing to be connected with someone, when you're feeling lonely, hear me.
This is not a mark of weakness.
It is just pointing to how God made you.
You were designed to be in community with other human beings.
And this is why isolation feels so bad.
Because it is not natural in any way, shape, or form.
Every now and then I uh get on Amazon and I start watching a program, and I don't know if any of you have done this before, and and and Number two's already out, so I go, you know what, I'll just watch a second one.
And all of a sudden I'm watching a third one.
And it's like I I feel this compulsion just to keep watching.
And I hear some people binge Netflix for two or three straight days.
But listen to me.
If they have a pet, they are now addressing that pet as if he's a human being Hey buddy, how you doing?
Oh, wasn't that a great scene?
You start talking to them because you were made for human interaction How many watched the movie Castaway?
Any anybody watch that movie?
So so what did Tom Hanks call his volleyball?
Wilson Wilson.
That's right.
He painted a face on Wilson.
He's talking to Wilson for 30, 45 minutes of this movie, you know, for years basically.
Why?
Because he needed human interaction.
Isolation slowly drains us because it goes against how God made us.
We're designed to reflect God.
Genesis chapter 1, verse 26 says this, then God said, Let us make man in our image according to our likeness.
You were created in the image of a communal God.
He exists in community.
You are supposed to exist in the same type of community.
Think about that.
In the community of God, there is perfect love, perfect unity, creativity, love, joy, peace, patience, all of those things.
When we become Christians and we start uniting with God, all of the experiences we get from Him, all of the knowenness, all of the love, all of the care, we're supposed to take that, and then we're supposed to start. sharing it with everybody else.
But unfortunately what we do is we kind of get nervous that they won't treat us the same way I'm treating them.
And we start anticipating the negativity and we start thinking, you know what, if I give too much and I don't get enough in return, will there be any left for me?
And God is trying to remind us today that He is more than enough.
Who can say Amen?
That if we do what He asks us to do, and that is to share our lives with other human beings, there will be Always be more than enough left over.
He will give you love.
He will give you the knowness that you need.
He will give you the care and the mercy and all of those things.
Because you and I were designed for Intimate and transparent relationships.
Koinonia is a divine fellowship It's not the same as just a normal human relationship.
Yes, the very first relationship was a marriage, but it was a perfect marriage.
And it was supposed to be then a perfect family.
And we were supposed to have perfect friendships and perfect partnerships.
Long before there was government and nations and tribes and all of those things, there was koinonia.
And in Acts chapter 2, it all was restored.
Not completely, but the idea of a relationship with God was restored.
In this relationship, the Holy Spirit is implanted on the inside of us, and we can live in unity and in this beautiful relationship with God and then it was supposed to be restored between us because it is not good even to this day for man to be alone.
Remember, Genesis chapter 2 isn't talking about loneliness at this time.
It's talking about how we are designed.
And in Acts chapter 2, the immediate thing, 3,000 people immediately get saved.
And what does the scripture say?
It says that they start devoting themselves to the word of God, to the apostles' teaching, they start devoting themselves to Koinonia.
That's the second thing.
Prayer is the fourth thing.
Sharing communion was the third thing.
And then it talks about how that's lived out on a regular basis.
It says that they meet together in the temples and from house to house, say house.
When's the last time you've been invited over to someone's home?
Let's let's go another step.
When's the last time you've invited someone into your home?
You see, the rubber meets the road in someone's home.
That's where intimacy takes place.
That's where transparency takes place.
And this is what Jesus modeled from Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
If anyone in this world could have done life alone, it would have been Jesus.
But he didn't He chose 12 disciples.
And he had a couple of friends in addition to that.
Mary, Martha, Lazarus.
I mean, look at this simple verse from John chapter 6, verse 3.
Look at what it says.
And Jesus went up on the mountain, and there he sat with his disciples.
Now I want you to think Jesus is with this group of of men for at least three years, maybe three and a half years And I would imagine at least six times or more the scripture says he sits down with them.
Maybe a dozen times.
But he's constantly sitting down with his disciples.
Now, now, if you do this at your home, let's say there's there's six of you there, you're probably gonna sit around a table.
If there's more than six, let's say there's ten or twelve of you, and you're in a house, you start rearranging the furniture, right?
Everyone starts rearranging the furniture, and the reason you do this is because you want to look the person in the eye.
You want to see what it is that they're thinking because the eyes are the window into the soul.
See, right here we've got Rose.
And rows are wonderful for exchanging information, especially from one person to a crowd.
But in a row, you can hide You can literally hide behind a six foot six man right now.
You can duck down or maybe a woman whose hair is just teased out a little bit.
Or possibly just a human being with a large head.
There are people I'm one of them, okay?
People uh an entire family can hide behind me in church Why?
Because sometimes we're at church to fulfill our obligation, but we really don't want anyone to see us.
We want to come in and we want to run out as fast as we can.
We want to take care of business with God, not realizing that God wants us to take care of business with one another.
The eyes are the window of the soul.
You see, you can hide a struggle where you're sitting right now, but if there's only eight of you in a room and you're in a circle, you can't hide it.
They can see the pain in your eyes.
They can see the the the food stuck between your teeth, right?
Because you guys are close.
There's a relationship going on there.
There's intimacy taking place.
There's transparency.
I mean, Martha and Mary were bold enough to share complaints with Jesus, things that they didn't like, things that they thought were wrong.
Now listen here, if God exists in community, if we were created for community, if Jesus modeled community, then small groups are not optional accessories in the Christian life.
They are a part of a divine mystery.
They're part of something that is crucial to who we are.
It's crucial to our success as human beings.
It's crucial to our success as Christians.
And so number two, small groups shape your life profoundly.
So I'm going to try and make this practical.
There's only two points to today's message, so I'm going to be done in Just a few minutes here.
But what does Koin and Nia actually look like?
Because I've been doing small group ministry, like I said, since I was married.
I've been married for over 40 years, and my father-in-law introduced me to the Yangie Cho model, and I've never seen it work.
I'm just letting you I I'm just being transparent, okay?
I've never seen it work the way the Bible talks about it I've never seen Sunday school work the way the Bible wants it to work.
Because Sunday school is small groups ministry too, right?
It's all the same thing.
And if small groups had worked over the last 40 years that I've been a participant, our nation would be in a much different place.
It's not worked.
And I believe one of the reasons it's not worked is we've not allowed the Holy Spirit to one-another us.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
There are between 30 and 40 one-another phrases in the Bible.
Let me just give you a couple of them.
Be hospitable one to another.
That simply means invite people into your house.
There's greet one another There is exhort one another.
There's encourage one another.
There's build one another up.
There's a lot of tearing down going on.
How much building up is taking place?
The scripture repeatedly says love one another, share with one another.
All of these are found throughout the New Testament and under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, if we really act on those things, something dramatic is going to change in our lives.
Who can say amen?
That's what I believe the Holy Spirit's longing for.
That's what God's longing for.
That's what we needed at Oxford Assembly of God Church is we need A life group, connect group, fed group ministry that literally transforms people's lives, that makes a profound difference simply by sharing.
Now, 40 years ago there was a book that came out.
Everything I needed to learn, I learned in kindergarten.
Anybody read that one?
One of the very first things it says is I learned to share in kindergarten.
I started thinking about that.
Why do we have to learn to share?
Isn't sharing natural since we're all born good, right?
You see, this is where Christianity's different from all the other faiths.
We don't play around.
We don't believe man was made Good.
As a matter of fact, our founding fathers created a constitution based on the fact that man was not good.
That's why it worked for 250 years.
They assumed up front that man left to his own is going to do bad things.
And that's why we have to learn to share.
Because by nature, I want to heap it upon myself.
By nature, I want to take it away from somebody else.
So a teacher. bigger and stronger than me has to teach me to share.
Now there are some exceptions to the rule.
Let me share one story with you.
A mother was writing a note to the school because her kindergarten son had been sick And the boy looks at his mom and says, Mom, don't write the part about me throwing up.
And the mom goes, well, why can't I write that?
And he goes, because I want to share it in show and tell.
Sounds like a kindergarten boy, doesn't it?
Sharing the the gruesome, gross part of of being sick.
That's what we need to to do as a church.
We need to share life together.
In Acts chapter 2, when 3,000 people got saved, in verse 44 it says this, all the believers were united and shared everything.
Say everything.
Wow.
That's everything.
Not because someone forced them, not because they had to, but because God had changed their hearts.
And when their hearts were changed, and those hearts made a connection with another human being, they saw their neighbor different than they had seen them just a day before.
All of a sudden they started seeing them with God's eyes.
All of a sudden they started seeing them as as hurting and broken and and And a sheep who need a shepherd, and and and that they were willing to do whatever it would take to help them in any way that they can.
So they started sharing life together, they started sharing meals together.
Yesterday I read that uh fast food restaurant uh meals have gone up 52 percent among solo eaters.
Eating by yourself.
At sit-down restaurants, it's up 22%.
Ever since COVID, we have been avoiding people more and more.
Who knows that COVID was a work of the devil?
I'm just here to tell you, it was a work to separate especially the church from its strength, which is God and one another.
We need each other desperately.
And COVID planted in our minds.
We need to be afraid of other human beings because they might make us sick and die.
For me to live as Christ and to die is gain.
I will never shut down my church in the name of Jesus Christ.
I'm just letting you know we are the most essential business in the entire world.
Without us, nothing will go forward.
It will never be shut down again in Jesus' name.
If they want to throw me in jail, so be it.
We need to share conversations and I'm not talking about how are you?
I'm fine and a 60-second conversation out in the lobby.
I'm talking about sitting down across the table on a couch coffee table and having hour-long conversations, two hour-long conversations.
Pastor, I don't have time for that.
You don't have time not to do it.
I'm just telling you, human interaction is where it's at.
We need to be together.
We need to share whatever it is we can.
We need to share our thoughts, our ideas.
This is where discipleship thrives.
Discipleship thrives in good small groups.
Now, now again, I'm a part of a couple of basketball groups.
Okay?
A lot of discipleship is not taking place in these basketball groups.
But listen, evangelism is taking place there.
We are bringing people into the church.
We are encouraging people to ask difficult and hard questions. questions and maybe my hope is that will lead to them coming to a a marriage group, a financial group, a recovery group, a Bible study of some kind.
If I had my druthers every Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, people would take the Sunday morning message.
And they would take the scriptures and the points and they would discuss it amongst three or eight or nine other people.
And they would just Hash out what was said on Sunday morning?
What did Pastor mean when he's talking about the fellowship of the mystery?
I didn't quite get it, I didn't understand it.
We can't ask those questions on a Sunday morning, but we can do it Monday night.
We can do it Tuesday at 10 a. m.
We can do it Thursday evening or Friday at noon at a lunch Bible study, those are places that this can happen because faith grows by hearing and studying the Word of God.
Faith grows when you can ask tough and difficult questions.
Faith grows when you can share your struggles and have people pray for you.
Who can say amen?
They started sharing their stuff.
This is really one of the big tests.
Did you know Koinania is actually translated one time in the New Testament as contribution?
In other words, it's translated as giving money to somebody else.
You see, if there's a crisis in a group of 10 or 12, nobody debates theology at that moment.
Do you know what they do?
They take up an offering.
They solve the problem.
They deliver a meal.
They send a text They do whatever is necessary because the degree of separation is one.
There's just one person away.
They're a part of my group.
But it's not just sharing that's taken place.
There's also sharpening that's taken place.
And not everybody likes sharpening.
Proverbs 27:17, as iron sharpens iron.
How many of you have ever seen metal being sharpened?
What happens?
Sparks fly!
Wow, why is it in most 21st century North American churches when sparks fly, people leave the church?
Is that not true?
I mean in in in most North American churches, if someone gets us upset or mad, we either never talk to them again, we sit on the other side, or we just go to a different church.
Not realizing that That when the disciples went across the Sea of Galilee and didn't learn their lesson, a couple of chapters later, guess what?
Another storm hit them on the Sea of Galilee.
So you're going to get the same lesson introduced into your life again and again and again until you grow up.
Who can say amen?
See, that's what God's wanting.
God's wanting us to mature.
He's wanting us to grow.
He's wanting us to allow another person.
The wounds of a friend can be trusted.
Who can say amen?
That's what the Bible says.
That there are wounds that can be trusted.
They're not hurting us on purpose.
They're hurting us to improve us.
Sharpening isn't always comfortable, but it's important.
So let's go back to that big church versus small home group comparison.
In this service right now, if you want to hide, you can hide and get away with it.
If you don't want anyone to notice you, you can come in, you can sneak out as fast as possible, and you can be gone without anyone saying hi to you.
So the advantage to that is if you don't show up next week, no one's gonna hassle you.
Because we didn't know you were here today, we're not gonna know you were gone next week.
And a lot of people love that anonymity.
But that's not church.
Church is coming to a group of 10 where if you don't show up next week, they're going to call.
If you don't show up next week, they're gonna think something's wrong.
So see, see, people get mad at me when I don't notice that they're here on a Sunday morning.
Do you think I might have something else on my mind?
J just think it I mean I mean last week for example I spoke at eight I spoke at nine I spoke at ten I spoke at eleven thirty and then I went to a fundraiser after that I had a few things going on in my mind last Sunday.
So if I missed you, please forgive me.
As a matter of fact, if you were here two Wednesday nights ago, you have to forgive me.
All right, but but listen, listen, listen.
If you're in a small group, they're gonna notice.
They're going to see and they will call you.
They'll see if if everything's alright.
I'm just here to say that we need people in our lives to direct us towards the holy life that God has for us.
We we don't we don't casually flow, oh, I just became holy today It doesn't work that way.
You know how it works?
Someone is on me saying, did you memorize your scripture verse this week?
And they're pushing me.
They're cajoling me.
Hebrews chapter 10 says, spur one another on to love.
And good works.
That word spur is what you have a cowboy boot and you nail that thing right into the side of your horse to get that horse to go where it's supposed to go.
We're supposed to do the same thing to one another.
Wow!
I mean, most of us would run away!
If you ever spur me again, I will never talk to you!
And yet the Bible says we're supposed to be spurring each other on to love and good deeds.
I've just got one more.
I'm going to skip caring for one another.
That sounded terrible.
I'm going to skip caring for one another.
Oh man.
Any so under caring for one another, that that works best one-on-one or two-on-two.
It's really hard to care for a group.
I'm just telling you.
See, I have been Fascinated by the scripture in Luke chapter 15 that says that the shepherd left the 99 in the wilderness and went after the one.
Because the shepherd didn't take them back to the sheep pen.
The shepherd didn't take them back to comfort land.
The shepherd left them in the wilderness.
Why?
Because the shepherd was most interested in those who were most susceptible to the devil, to pain, to injury, to loss.
That happens one on one, maybe one couple and one couple, two on two.
It seldom happens in big group arenas.
Final, praying for one another.
James chapter 5, verse 16, and pray for one another that you may be healed.
Did you know that God has done something supernatural when it comes to koinonia?
And that is in small groups.
There is a depth of healing that can take place that is beyond what we think is normally possible.
I believe there would be a lot less need for for psychologists, for psychiatrists, for medications. for uh all of these other things if we would get ourselves in a small group where we know people love and care for us.
If we would just show up on a regular basis and allow the Holy Spirit to do this supernatural work on the inside of us, recovery groups especially thrive. and groups of ten or less.
Mentoring thrives with one-on-one.
Marriage groups work best when when couples feel safe enough to talk honestly about what's happening in their marriage.
That doesn't happen in a big group.
It happens in a small group.
Listen, listen.
If you confess a deep struggle to 200 people, that's called a press conference.
If you confess it to four people who love you, that's a turning point in your life That's where healing can truly begin.
So here's my question, and we're going to wrap up with this.
The worship team can come on up.
If this is how God designed us, if this is how the early church functioned, and if this is how Jesus lived, why do so many Christians try and do life alone?
Would you stand with me please?
I'm gonna have prayer partners come to the front at this time and uh if you need prayer for anything, feel free to to come and take advantage of that.
But also as you walked in, you saw that we had a number of tables up that represent just some of the connect fed life small groups that we have here as a church.
There are some that are Bible studies, there are some that are marriage-based.
You can join us on on Tuesday night for basketball.
That's something that we do here on a on a regular basis.
I know there's a group that is in the works right now.
I didn't see the it out there, but they want to do a pickleball group.
And so that's uh something that we're working on right now.
Hey, I I think my greatest fear Is as a pastor, what's the fine line between encouragement and being too hard on people?
And sometimes I feel like, oh, I'm pushing too hard, I'm pushing too hard.
But at the same time, when you realize that you have a nugget that is so valuable that it will transform people's lives.
What shouldn't we do to get that point across?
It's like watching people going to hell.
We can't watch people go to hell.
We have to do whatever we can to get them into the kingdom of God.
Our culture has tried to guilt us into not converting anybody.
I'm going down converting people, just so you know.
The gospel message is offensive once in a while.
It does create sparks and friction, but that's not a time to run away.
It's a time to either engage or re-engage.
Would you bow your heads with me, please?
Heavenly Father, I thank you so much for this beautiful church, Oxford Assembly of God.
I thank you for every member. every adherent, every visitor that's here today.
And Father God, with a crowd this big, we're all in a different place in life.
Some of us are Riding high.
Some of us are loving life.
Some of us have an abundance of friends.
But Father God, there's another group that is struggling.
There's another group, Father God, that is feeling the loneliness and the brokenness. and they're wondering does anybody care?
So I pray in the name of Jesus Christ that those who are Riding high will understand that today is their day to be in a group.
Today is their day to lead a group.
Today is their day to share their victory with those who are struggling.
And Father God, for those on the other end of the spectrum, I pray that they won't feel guilt or condemnation, but rather that they will hear the loving call of the Holy Spirit Spirit to engage God and to engage the church once again in a way that that might feel risky, in a way that that might be a little scary, but Father God, that step of faith by signing up for group that step of faith of walking through that front door for the first time will be rewarded Father God with a life Of change and a life of transformation and of deep friendships and relationships, Father God, that will never ever disappear.
I pray today in Jesus' holy and precious name that you would lead us to the exact groups we need to be a part of that you'd lead us Father God to the exact uh relationships that we need to be involved in.
And Father God, I pray that there'd be such growth, maturation, and health that we'd be able to double the size of this church in a very short period of time.
I pray that we Pray this today in Jesus' holy and precious name.
And together everybody says, Amen.
The worship team's gonna sing a closing song, and please linger out in the lobby and just check out the tables before you go.
Blog Post
Why You Were Made for Community — And Why Isolation Is Hurting You
Loneliness is at an all-time high. Despite living in the most technologically connected generation in history — with group texts, social media, video calls, and thousands of online "friends" — more people than ever feel deeply alone. According to recent research, nearly half of adults over 45 report experiencing loneliness. The question isn't just why this is happening. The question is whether it was ever supposed to be this way.
It wasn't.
The Problem With Modern Connection
We have more ways to communicate than ever before, yet fewer people feel truly known. You can follow someone on Instagram, watch their highlights, and know what they had for lunch — without ever having a real conversation. You can have 5,000 friends online and still have no one to call at two in the morning when things fall apart.
This isn't just a social problem. It's a spiritual one.
Community Was God's Idea First
Before the earth was formed, before human beings existed, community already existed. God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit have existed in perfect, eternal relationship since before time began. When Genesis 1:26 records God saying "Let us make man in our image," that "us" matters. It points to a God who exists in community — and to the reality that you were created to reflect that same communal nature.
Genesis 2:18 makes this even more plain: "It is not good for man to be alone." Remarkably, this statement was made before sin ever entered the world. Loneliness and isolation aren't just consequences of a broken world — they are signals pointing back to how you were originally designed. You were made for connection because you were made in the image of a relational God.
What Biblical Fellowship Actually Means
The Greek word koinonia is often translated as "fellowship," but its meaning runs far deeper than coffee and conversation in a lobby. Koinonia refers to intimate, transparent, life-sharing community. In Ephesians 3:8-9, the Apostle Paul describes it as "the fellowship of the mystery" — suggesting something sacred, something profound, something that goes far beyond polite interaction.
True koinonia is not shallow. It is not a church program. It is participation in a divine mystery — the same kind of rich, loving, unified community that exists within God Himself. And it was designed to be lived out in the daily rhythms of life together.
How the Early Church Did It
In Acts 2, after 3,000 people came to faith in a single day, something remarkable happened immediately. The new believers devoted themselves to teaching, to koinonia, to communion, and to prayer. They met together in the temple courts and from house to house. They shared meals. They shared their possessions. They shared their lives.
This wasn't forced. No one passed a rule requiring it. Their hearts had been changed, and changed hearts naturally move toward one another. They began to see their neighbors differently — as people who were hurting, broken, and in need — and they responded with generosity, presence, and care.
Jesus Modeled the Small Group
If anyone could have done life alone, it was Jesus. Yet He didn't. He chose twelve disciples and invested years of His life in close, daily community with them. Scripture repeatedly shows Him sitting down with His disciples — eating with them, traveling with them, praying with them, and being deeply known by them. He also had close personal friends in Mary, Martha, and Lazarus.
There is something significant about the circle. In a room of eight or ten people seated together, you can see someone's eyes. You can notice when they're struggling. You can't hide behind the person in front of you. That kind of visibility is uncomfortable — and it is also exactly where transformation happens.
The "One Another" Life
The New Testament contains between 30 and 40 "one another" commands. Be hospitable to one another. Encourage one another. Build one another up. Love one another. Pray for one another. Share with one another. Spur one another on to love and good works (Hebrews 10). These commands weren't written to be read and admired — they were written to be lived out in close, consistent, face-to-face community.
Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." Sharpening isn't always comfortable. Sparks fly. But the friction of genuine relationship — when trusted people speak truth into your life — is one of the primary ways growth happens. Running away from conflict or discomfort in relationships means running away from some of your greatest opportunities for maturity.
Why Small Groups Change Everything
There is a healing that happens in small groups that is difficult to find anywhere else. James 5:16 says, "Pray for one another that you may be healed." This is not merely physical healing — it is the deep emotional and spiritual restoration that comes when people feel genuinely known and genuinely loved.
If you confess a deep struggle to 200 people, that's a press conference. If you confess it to four people who love you, that can be a turning point in your life.
Recovery happens in small groups. Marriages are strengthened in small groups. Faith grows when you can ask hard questions, share your doubts, and have people pray specifically for you. Discipleship thrives not in rows of seats but around tables and couches where life is shared honestly.
The Cost of Staying Isolated
Isolation slowly drains us because it goes against how God made us. Solo dining is up significantly since the pandemic. Civic and social group participation continues to decline. People are spending more time alone, more time online, and less time in the kind of face-to-face community that actually restores the soul.
You can sit in the middle of a crowd and be completely alone. Presence without participation is not community. Watching from a distance is not koinonia.
An Invitation Worth Accepting
The life you were designed for is not a solo journey. It is not you against the world, or even you and your family against the world. It is you, known and loved, walking alongside others who are committed to seeing you grow — and who need you to do the same for them.
Small groups, life groups, connect groups — whatever you call them — are not extras. They are essential. They are the place where the mystery of fellowship becomes real. And they are open to you.
The question is whether you'll say yes.
